"Pregnant again 4-5 week approx after suffering a miscarriage only two months before. I'd had a d&c to remove the remains of our pregnancy. Nervous doesn't cover how I felt. I told no one and purposely took the test on our anniversary - this time it had to be ok.
Our due date was 9/10/10 that date came- along with swollen hands and loss of dexterity - 1 week later no sign 10 days and a failed sweep (infact she didn't attempt as baby wasn't in the right place < note that part.)
So I was booked in for induction on the 21st October 2010 - I was petrified but at the same time was ready ( more than ready ) for pregnancy to be over.I was put on a 4 bed ward with my oh and monitored on and off all day and given two peseries . ( turned out I was already in labor before they even started induction)
so my hopes were high for a speedy birth. Well after OH went home I was in agony not exactly crippling pain just not nice - I asked if I could have the pain killers they offered earlier to be told "are you sure you might want to wait a bit" no I wanted a bit of kip so took them. However about 1 hr later I was writhing about and walking up and down the ward - ok I thought this is it I felt sick with pain but tried again to get in bed. A little later still awake I felt a grinding pop jumped out of bed to see the waters had gone. I buzzed for someone who said no love you have wet yourself !!!!! I hadn't by the way as you'll find out in a bit.
By 6AM with no sleep and in lots of pain no spare clothes & distressed I rang OH to get to the hospital ASAP as I was getting a feeling that surly after 22 hours something would happen soon. The doctor arrived at 7.30am who was a butcher by all accounts and couldn't determine if I was dilated or not - now even I knew it would be best for her to wait till my next contraction but the midwife had to tell her this!! It was the midwife who established I was about 1.5 cm and it would be ok for me to go to the labor suite. So off I popped determined to carry all my bags lol! Then through the doors to my relief was my OH.
After a 30 minute struggle with me refusing a cannula throwing up through sheer fear of needles combined with erractic contractions i wasn't very good . Eventually after gas and air ( for the cannula I add :)) I was attached to the drip which resulted in back to back contractions ( ouch !) this went on for a while - the butcher arrived to check me and tried 3 - 4 times to break the remainder of my waters ( it was the hind waters that went in the night) again it took the midwife to do it !! about early evening I was asked if id like an epidural - well after all them hours I'd had enough and said yes ( looking back I knew why they wanted me to have one - read on) . Well the butcher returned and it is she I blame for my bad back up to this day ! She ruptured a blood vessel and caused nerve damage, the epidural only half worked! A senior doctor came in and administered lydicane which was the most relief I'd had although not great.
So time was ticking throughout all this my heart wasn't taking things v well and at one point the midwife brought someone in to check I was ok . According to OH this was very worrying , I'm fuzzy in my memory I just felt really out of it like I was really ill not in labour . Eventually it was declared I would need an emergency c section . And finally in theatre the epidural was declared failed and I was given g/a and finally knocked out ....
The next full memory I have is registering my baby's birth 3 weeks later and realising he was a boy!!!
I have bits and draps of memories of trying to feed him and dress him despite been hooked up to transfusion bloods. I had a morphine drip in my stomach too which was removed shortly after I'd gone to the ward.
My OH had been waiting 2+ hours holding our son who was born not breathing but was resuscitated and was fine and very alert already holding his head much to the amusement of the ward staff and oh :) Finally I was delivered to a 4 bed ward woken up told to look at the baby and asked what I thought the sex was. Its all a blur to be honest and it was gone 2am our son was born at 12.07am. Turned out I wasn't as critically ill as originally thought but I'd lost a hell of a lot of blood and was severely anaemic.
We went home on the Monday after the Saturday he was born. After much begging from me and pretending I was fine when really I was in agony with my back but I had threatened to discharge myself. I suppose my story concludes almost 4 months later when I went to read my notes with a senior midwife, it turns out our baby was never in the right position to be born as the midwife who attempted the sweep discovered his head never engaged - I'd gone through all that for nothing as after the hind waters had gone his head should have engaged, he was layed sideways with his foot stuck in my rib (I felt this so knew) normally a c section would have been advised but the butcher never noticed so my anger still fires when I think of it. I suffered severe post traumatic stress for months for a so called doctor who might I add was a trainee !!!
It's a very long story as you can see my baby's birth wasn't something you generally read I never expected it to be like this It has caused a lot of heart ache for me and the bond wasn't there initially it took for me to take him swimming that triggered something inside me.
So Quinn was born on 12.07am 23/10/10 weighing at 7lb 11oz. He is two now and I can openly say I don't just love him, I adore the very bones of him he is my light my smile my life."
|Quinn on the day he was born|
|Quinn and his mummy now|